For thirty years, I lived with the belief that I had been adopted, left behind by parents who were unable to keep me. But one visit to the orphanage completely upended everything I thought I understood about my past.
I had always known I was adopted—my dad had told me when I was just three years old. Not long after, my adoptive mom passed away, only six months later. I don’t have many memories of her, just the faint image of her warm, comforting smile. After she was gone, it was just me and Dad navigating life together.
But growing up was far from easy. My dad often reminded me that I wasn’t truly his. Whenever I struggled, he’d make comments like, “Maybe you got that from your real parents,” or, “You should be grateful I even kept you.”
When I was six, he loudly told a group of neighbors that I was adopted, ensuring everyone heard. By the next day, kids at school were calling me the “orphan girl.” The teasing never stopped, and when I came home in tears, Dad simply shrugged and said, “Kids will be kids.” On my birthdays, he even took me to orphanages, telling me how “lucky” I was compared to the children there.
For 30 years, I lived under the belief that I’d been abandoned—that I was a burden. My fiancé, Matt, was the first person to push me to confront my past. “Maybe finding out more about your biological parents could give you some closure,” he suggested gently.
At first, I resisted. What was the point? But eventually, I gave in. A few weeks ago, Matt and I visited the orphanage my dad always claimed I came from. When we arrived, the woman at the desk checked the records and said, “I’m sorry, but we don’t have any record of you here.” My stomach dropped.
Confused and overwhelmed, we went straight to my dad’s house. The moment he opened the door, I burst out, “We went to the orphanage—they’ve never heard of me. Why did you lie?”
He froze, his expression unreadable. For a long moment, he said nothing. Then he let out a heavy sigh and stepped aside. “Come in,” he said softly.
Matt and I followed him into the living room. He lowered himself into his recliner, his hand brushing through his thinning hair.
“I knew this day would come,” he said in a low voice.
“What does that even mean?” I demanded, my voice trembling. “Why did you lie to me?”
He stared at the ground, his expression heavy with regret. “You weren’t adopted,” he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. “You’re your mother’s child… but not mine. She had an affair.”
His words struck me like a blow. “What are you saying?”
“She cheated on me,” he said, bitterness lacing his tone. “When she got pregnant, she begged me not to leave. I stayed, but every time I looked at you, all I could see was what she did to me. So I made up the adoption story.”
My hands began to shake. “You lied to me my whole life? Why would you do something like that?”
He exhaled, his shoulders sagging under the weight of his guilt. “I don’t know. I was hurt. Angry. I thought if you believed you weren’t mine, it might make things easier for me. Maybe it would stop me from hating her so much. It was foolish. I’m sorry.”
Tears blurred my vision as my voice trembled. “You faked the documents?”
He nodded, shame etched into every line of his face. “I had a friend in the records office. He owed me a favor. It wasn’t difficult to make it look official.”
I felt like I couldn’t breathe. All the teasing I’d endured, the visits to orphanages, the remarks about my “real parents”—none of it had ever been about me. It was his way of coping with his pain.
“I was just a child,” I said, my voice barely audible. “I didn’t deserve this.”
“I know,” he said, his voice cracking. “I know I let you down.”
I rose to my feet, my legs feeling unsteady beneath me. “I can’t do this right now. When the time comes, I’ll make sure you’re taken care of. But I can’t stay,” I said, turning to Matt. “Let’s go.”
Matt’s jaw tightened as he glared at my father. He placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder. “You’re coming with me,” he said gently.
As we stepped out the door, my father’s voice called after me. “I’m sorry! I truly am!”
But I didn’t turn back.
