As the final moment approaches, he gathers all his strength and whispers, “I must tell you my greatest secret.”
His family members are all ears, urging him to go on.
“When I was young, I had it all,” explains Ed. “Fast cars, cute girls, and plenty of money. But a good friend warned me, ‘Get married and start a family. Otherwise, no-one will be there to give you a glass of water to drink when you’re on your deathbed.’
So I took his advice. I traded the girls for a wife, beer for baby food. I sold my Ferrari and invested in college funds.
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And now here we are. And you know what?”
“What?” whispered the fascinated members of his family.
“I’m not even god damn thirsty!”