- Physical Independence
Are you the kind of woman who enjoys getting attention for her health ailments or loves having someone take care of her physically? I have met some women like that.
These are codependent women who fake illness or manifest an illness to get taken care of by their family. If you enjoy that kind of thing, remember that as a burden to others, you will make yourself vulnerable to abuse or abandonment.
Unless you suffer from a serious illness, disability, or require elderly care, doing the basic things like buying groceries, managing your bank accounts, and paying bills are tasks you should be able to do for yourself, even if you live with someone else.
So, tell yourself, “I am a strong independent woman,” and learn to take responsibility for your own health and well-being.
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage” ~ Anais Nin
- Sexual Independence
Learning to pleasure oneself can be very empowering for a woman. Men do it all the time, so there’s no reason why women can’t. If you can meet your own sexual needs in a healthy manner, you’ll never have to settle for one-night stands or relationships that are demeaning.
Because of conditioning by family and society, many women are not even comfortable with exploring their own bodies. False beliefs about sex and our own bodies can lead to sexual incompatibility and unhappiness in the marriage.
On the SHEROES app for women, you can access a free online counseling chat helpline where you can get advice on sexual health, relationships, and more.
For the sake of your marriage and relationships, you must learn to get comfortable with your own body. You and I know how to pleasure yourself, you can help your partner pleasure you better, too.
“Do you want to meet the love of your life? Look in the mirror.” ~ Bryon Katie
- Financial Independence
Many women still expect a man to be the provider and a source of security. A man who has a home and car is seen as a better match than one who doesn’t. But like women, men want to be loved for themselves too, not just for what they can give us.
If you depend on a man and his family financially, you’ll always be at his mercy, willing to tolerate abuse or disrespectful behavior. Relationships built on a foundation of need are very likely to fail or be unhappy for one or both people.
No woman should be financially dependent on a man to the extent that she is willing to tolerate disrespect or abuse. Even if you’re taking care of kids and the home, you can still become a financially independent woman by finding work from home for women.
At the very least, you should be educated or capable of using your skills and talents to stand on your own two feet, should your partner become abusive or leave the relationship. Financial independence will give you the courage to leave an abusive relationship if you need to.
As a financially independent woman, whether you’re married or not, the knowledge that you can fend for yourself will enhance your self-worth, self-esteem, and self-confidence. That’s why every woman should try to be as financially independent as possible.
If you happen to be in an abusive relationship right now, this financial rebuilding guide for domestic violence survivors will help you learn how to keep your financial documents safe, how to inventory your assets and debts, and show you ways to start setting aside some money of your own.
- Emotional Independence
Emotional independence is the ability to deal with your emotional issues and problems on your own, or with the help of a professional counselor.
Emotionally needy and clingy behavior is more likely to attract potential abusers or predatory men and drive away a good man looking for a strong, independent woman.
If you’re having trouble learning how to manage your emotional needs, I recommend reading my book, Devi2Diva. When you become an emotionally independent woman, you will be less likely to attract insecure or manipulative men.
- Spiritual Independence
An emotionally healthy and secure man wants to be with an independent-thinking woman, not one who agrees with everything he says.
Being an independent thinker means having the courage to stand by your beliefs, speak your mind, and follow the path that feels right for you. It also makes you less vulnerable to a man who is controlling and tries to dictate what you should think, read, or believe in.
Power is not given to you. You have to take it. ~ Beyoncé Knowles
- Social Independence
Social independence is the ability to cultivate your own social circle independent of your partner. According to Harsh Shrivastava:
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“Women should have their own network (including online) of friends, advisers, guides, mentors, and even mentees – of both genders. A woman should not depend only on relatives or her man’s friends, but have her own set of people to lean on and learn from and have fun with.”
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I couldn’t agree more! Of course, becoming a strong and independent woman takes work, some life experience, and the courage and intuition to make the best choices for yourself.
You may come across people who will try to convince you that strong, independent women are unhappy. But, I’ve learned that happiness is a conscious choice, not an outcome of being dependent or independent.
As a happily single, independent woman, I know that all it takes to be happy is making a conscious decision to be happy, no matter what, and cultivating empowering beliefs that support my decision.
Learning how to be a strong, independent woman has given me the respect of my friends and family, the freedom to make better choices, and to enter a healthy, interdependent relationship on my own terms, should I choose to do that.
I am an independent woman, and am happy and proud to be one! I wish the same for you, too.
