Anna has always valued her relationships with her mom and her MIL.
Anna, 33, recently wrote us a heartfelt and emotional letter detailing her story. She has made the difficult decision to sever all ties with both her mother and mother-in-law, and is now seeking our readers’ opinions on whether they would make the same choice in her situation.
Anna began her letter with, “Hi, Alternatech! I’m reaching out to share my story because I need help with a complicated situation in my life. Trust is scarce for me right now, so I hope to find an objective perspective from your readers, especially those who might have faced a similar conflict. I look forward to reading the comments and hope to receive some valuable advice once my story is published.”
“So, I’m no contact with two of the most significant and cherished people in my life because my mom and my MIL united against me and started behaving in a very nasty way. I’ve always loved my mother, and we’ve had a wonderful and trustful relationship as long as I can remember myself. I’m a single child in the family, and my mother has been raising me alone since my dad passed away when I was 3. My mom is a gorgeous person, she brilliantly combined the roles of both parents for me, and I was never deprived of anything while I was growing up. She has always been very protective of me. It hurt her so much when anyone ever offended or mistreated me, and she was always ready to punish people who were acting in a wrong way towards me.”
“My MIL has instantly become my second mom, after the very first time I saw her. She’s an extremely kind-hearted woman, and she has always been so supportive and loving to me that it made me think of myself like of a really lucky person.”
Anna noticed several red flags but chose to ignore them.
Anna continues her story, saying, “Both my mom and mother-in-law have been incredibly supportive, especially since my husband and I both work full-time and have two kids. They’ve regularly cared for our children while we’re at work. However, I did notice some behaviors that puzzled me. For instance, they seemed overly involved in our family life, asking numerous questions about our private relationship and offering help in areas where their intervention wasn’t necessary.”
“I caught my mom looking through my husband’s phone a couple of times, when I noticed it she said she was without her glasses and thought this was her phone. But I noticed the same behavior from my mother-in-law. She was caught reading messages on my phone and my husband’s computer. I found this inappropriate, but I thought this was the elderly lady’s curiosity and I preferred to treat it with understanding.”
One day, Anna overheard a troubling conversation between her mom and her MIL.
Our reader goes on with her story, disclosing, “Two months ago, I discovered that I was pregnant with our 3rd kid. This news was a complete surprise to both me and my husband. I had reservations about the pregnancy since we hadn’t planned for another child, but my husband was thrilled and convinced me that we could manage everything together. Eventually, I agreed to go through with it.”
“A couple of weeks ago, I came home from an appointment with my doctor and heard my mom talking to my MIL, both of them were very emotional. My mom was saying, ‘He made a big mistake, but we shouldn’t tell Anna. We must keep it a secret because the truth will kill her and her unborn baby.’ My MIL responded with something like, ‘Yes, we mustn’t ruin their nice family. Everyone can make mistakes, and we just need to make sure he doesn’t see that woman again.’”
“It was clear they were discussing me and my husband, mentioning a mistake he had made. I felt a surge of anxiety and knew I had to uncover the secret they were trying to hide from me.”
Anna confronted her mom and uncovered the painful truth.
Anna revealed, “I decided to talk to my mom first, and when I told her that I heard them talking about my family, she instantly went pale. She refused to raise this topic, but I said that I will stop talking to her and won’t allow her to see the birth of her grandchild if she doesn’t tell me the truth. And she told me everything. I was shocked to the core when I revealed that my husband had been cheating on me for 6 months. She said he was having an affair and still insisted that we keep the baby.”
“And the most painful part of this story was that both my mom and my MIL knew about his affair, and they found out about it before I fell pregnant, and they still decided to keep it a secret from me! They knew that I was hesitant about having another kid, and they were aware of the fact that keeping the baby was a very tough decision for me, but they preferred to know that I was having a baby with a cheater and a liar and keep it a secret from me!”
“I was utterly shocked, frustrated, and depressed, to the point where I didn’t want to see anyone — my spouse, my mom, or my MIL. I decided to keep the baby and raise him on my own. Since then, I’ve cut off all contact with them and won’t allow any of them to be present when I give birth. Am I right to do this, or should I consider forgiving my mom and giving her another chance to be a good mother and grandmother?”
We’re sorry to hear that Anna is facing such a challenging situation, which clearly requires careful consideration. In our view, it’s crucial for Anna to have an honest conversation with her husband before making any final decisions.
What would you do if you were in Anna’s position? Do you think it’s reasonable and justified for her to cut off all contact with her mother, MIL, and her husband? Share your thoughts in the comments section.
And here’s a story about a woman whose MIL offered her $100,000 to leave her son, but she had an unexpected way of turning the tables.
Preview photo credit freepik / Freepik
